Do you feel it this morning?
The weight of this day?
The Thursday *before*.
Jesus would soon be gathering with His men to share a meal. A last meal.
He is aware of what is coming, and just how soon. But He is still teaching – always trying to teach – these young men that He has grown to love.
He showed them that day, a new command, as He lowered Himself and washed their feet. He showed them others had to be more. The least? The greatest.
Its all very different than what they had wanted to believe
And He knows. He knows even as He washes, that these feet would soon carry his friends away. Away from the cross, away from Him, and deep into the shadows of hiding and denial.
He washes the feet anyway.
Washes even the feet of Judas.
Judas, who is moments away from walking out the door, heading into the darkness, to betray Him.
I know it had to happen; I know the stage that was being set.
With dinner over, these young men – feet washed and the taste of broken bread still lingering on their tongues – begin to argue about who might be the greatest among them.
They hadn’t been listening to Him.
They just didn’t get it.
They are so caught up in their battle of pride that they fail to stop Judas, to even notice him, as he slips out the door to betray their beloved teacher.
They were so engaged in a battle to defend themselves, they forgot to defend their Lord. And don’t I do the same thing, in my own life, and far too often?
So, yes, these next few days weigh heavy on my heart each Easter season.
And not just because of what took place on that Thursday, or that Friday, so long ago.. but because of how it illuminates my sinful nature, today.
I wish I could tell you for certain that if I had been there, I would have been different.. not denying Him, never prideful, always ready to defend His name, never longing to be the most important, or first, or best.. but I can’t.
That Thursday had to come; had to set it all into motion.
Not just for those sinful men, but for this girl, for me.
Because I have a tendency to not listen, not serve, not be humble. I want to be assured of greatness before I trust. I can be self-consumed.
Thursday had to be.
It had to usher in the most agonizing, ultimate act of sacrifice the world would ever know.
Thursday had to usher in Friday.