They came home. For a short while we were joyous and ecstatic, weren’t we? Yet..the goodbye is always waiting.
And if we are honest, we would admit, their attention, days, time..it has been divided.
They are so young, learning, and.. changed.
He will leave again soon and I find my heart filling with sorrow over what I didn’t get: more time. One on one time, connection. In some ways, I am also learning to let go. He is not who he once was, so I can’t be who I once was..or at least, I can’t have the same expectations.
So many have expressed things to me, meant to soothe, but it really only drives me deeper inward, to hide behind my brave smile, and my Army Mom t-shirts.
Change that comes this way, on this journey, it’s so different. It’s a loss of time, to a place unknown to me, a place that seems to have taken the last lingering boyhood years and sped them up, at warp speed.
Our hearts have no way to catch up.
There is so much more I would say to you all.. if only Facebook allowed pages to be private instead of public.
But I know you get it and I don’t need to express the words I didn’t write.
For all who love a military parent, who is saying another “See you soon..” be gentle with their hearts. This crap is hard. They just need kindness.
For all of you, all who are gearing up for another goodbye or have just faced it.. I’m sorry.
All my love and prayers for your hurting heart.
Let’s just try. Try not to regret what wasn’t. Try not to shade our time by crying over how few moments or minutes or days we had, but to really remember the moments that were ours, and treasure them..