More Than Once

Weekends are hard on the heart of this Mama. 

I miss my son. 

My boys miss their brother. 

He is now property of the US Army. 

Seems like an outdated way to phrase it, but it’s truth. And it is the hardest part of the journey. Suddenly your child, is the country’s solider. Your say is gone, your authority is gone..your ability to protect them is just..gone. 

And once you adjust to that (which I assume never really happens) you realize that the sacrifice that they make (and in a way you make as a family) starts from day one. You sacrifice memories and time and family moments. Suddenly the weekends, the space where all of that goodness is created, hurts a little bit. Celebrations seem a little lackluster, milestones seem less fulfilled somehow. There is an ache that doesn’t ever go away. 

Like being homesick, yet fully at home.
I know I should be stronger but this is how it is for so many. The life of a military family. 

It might not seem strong, might seem depressing, but it is our reality, and it will continue for a long time to come and, likely, it will get harder. 

The truth though, is he probably won’t read this (so, no risk of my worrying him or causing him to stress about my sadness) and not because he doesn’t want to, but for lack of time. Because as we miss him in the moments, he is working so hard, training, and learning..he is missing the moments entirely. 

So, as the weekend closes, my heart longs for more. I feel like I want to fight against the sorrow and bring home our soldier. 

We can’t and Sunday night keeps marching on. 

As I think back on this week, I think about the National Day of Prayer. 

National..our nation..defended by our military. 

I hope people prayed. I hope that they joined others and prayed for so many things and for our military. 

And my prayer, as we end this week, is that we not be content with one day a year.

My prayer tonight is that we cover our military in prayer with the same fervent commitment which they have shown in covering this nation in protection and security. 

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