Sometimes I pray that I can find the time and the space in my life to write for the blog.
Sometimes, the words in my head demand to be poured out onto to my screen.
Sometimes, I stare at my screen hoping the feelings in my heart will turn into words I can express.
And sometimes I have hilariously funny things to say, which I sit down to write and God says “No, really, that IS funny, Skye. It is. But, the thing is, I need you to write something else for Me instead..”
Tonight was gonna be one of those funny posts.
And as funny as that post would have been, you will just have to take my word for it (it was hysterical.. because see, what had happened was…oh, wait, never mind..) because when God seems to be pulling me to write something specific, I do it.
So, tonight, a thought instead, for all of us who need to hear it – more than we needed to share in my outstanding wit and humor, apparently..
Just lay it down.
Yes, that’s the thing pressing into my heart, spilling into my thoughts and into words.
And I get it too.
Why God wants this for us.
For me and for you.
I read your Facebook newsfeeds people.
I read the pain in your words.
I see you at church, hear you at bible study, at work and in the stores.
I see my own tired, exhausted eyes in the mirror.
Lay. It. Down.
What is it?
And lay it where exactly?
Everything we are carrying in this moment that seems too heavy, too much.
The things that pull our head down and away from faith, hope, and joy.
Anxiety and worry
when we’re all like..
what if he hates me? Did I remember to double check my work? Is the door locked? What if she talks about that? What if I get there and dont know what to say? What if my kid becomes an ax murderer? What if he cheats? What if we don’t have enough money for that bill? What if snow comes and I didn’t buy canned goods?
when we’re all like..
I forgot to check his backpack for papers. I am the worst parent ever. I never emailed her back. I have to be the worst friend in the world. We watch so much tv in this house. What if tv watching turns my children into deviants? Oh man, why did I just call my kids deviants? I suck at parenting. Why is she sick? Is she sick because I forgot to pack gloves yesterday? Oh Jesus forgive me..I never bought the gloves. Her gloves are small. Is that embarrassing to her? I basically made her get pneumonia and bullied. Great. Nice job, mom-of-the-year!
when we’re all like..
how dare he? Just look at him, all happy and playing with the kids. Why? How is that fair? I work away, do the hard crap like checking backpacks and buying gloves and he gets to be all…Disneyland dad! Why does my weekend have to suck? Why am I the “peon” at work, getting probably half the money to do all of their job and my own? Why can’t I just have that happy perfect little family? 600 supportive friends? That face..that hair..that skin..that weight? Didn’t I deserve a better life God?
And on and on our lists probably go.
Funny thing about carrying heavy loads – the longer you carry them? And the further you try to walk with burdens weighing you down?
The heavier they get. And the slower you move. And suddenly? You’re crushed, you can’t move, you’ve gotten nowhere.
The way I see it now, as I type this out, we have two choices:
-lay it all down at the feet of God, believing He can handle it all (God’s preferred method)
-or get laid out by it, fall under it, squished, defeated, out cold and immobile (the preferred method of the enemy of your soul, the one who comes to seek and destroy)
Lay it down.
And I know, I hear your protests as clearly as I hear my own:
..but you don’t know what might happen to me/them/her/him..
..but you don’t know how much I have messed up. What I’ve done to him/them/her..
..so..what..I just walk away? I don’t fight back? He/she just wins? How will he ever pay for what he did? I can’t just “lay it down”..
Yes. We can.
Let God be God.
Have faith that He will carry the burden for you, or destroy it.
If it helps, just say you are laying it down for now. Just for this moment.
Tell yourself you don’t have to think about it, worry about it, obsess over it, or engage the anger, not for right now.
If anyone else asks why you seem so light..
If they question where your burden went..
Or why you seem so guilt free..
Or why you won’t fight with them..(They won’t)
..just tell them that if they want to carry all your burdens, they can find them with God. Tell them you left your burdens at His feet.
They can go see God if they have an issue with your burden-free-self..you just did what He told you to do.
He’s got your back, you know?
Actually, for most of us? He is saving our backs..from burdens we were never meant to carry.
Lay it down, friends.
Love to you all,