When I (Skye) was about four years old, I discovered something horrible.
Hidden deep in the recesses of my parent’s closet, under a pile of winter sweaters, was a family portrait. My mom and dad looking young & happy, their clothes and hair softened with the feathery look of the late 1970s – no hint of the garish hairdos or neon clothing that was to come in the 80s. My sister, Amy, was childhood cuteness – personified. Blonde pigtails, bows, the works.
The portrait was tragic.
Horrible, incomprehensible, and scary to my four-year-old self because…where the heck was I? I recall even flipping over that heavy frame to check – nothing.
I just wasn’t there.
I hated that dumb, beautiful picture.
I don’t know if I asked or if I just grew old enough to understand that I just hadn’t been born yet.
It wasn’t like my family showed up at a Sears portrait studio and left me in a stroller at the door. There wasn’t a befuddled photographer asking “what about that one?” to my dad’s shrugged reply “Eh. One outta two is fine..”
I just wasn’t alive. But I will tell you, I sought out and stared at the photo a lot in the years that followed.
I hated it …yet wanted to be in it.
I hated feeling like there was any place, time or space with my own family that I couldn’t be a part of. As I grew I began to believe this wasn’t strange but, rather, that maybe my heart was just made with this longing – and yours was, too.
Versions of the picture-without-me story played out many times in my life.
And although I couldn’t always find comfort by telling myself I had been left out because “I hadn’t been born” I do always land in a safe place…I fall onto the grace of belonging to God.
Faith is where we always belong.
This “longing to belong” to someone is an intentional part of our design..it is God-given.
It points to our longing for faith, to our desire to belong to God and it’s important we get this right.
We want to have faith and be in faith. We want to know we belong to the God that gave us life and Him to us, to know that we are in.. that we are in the family.
No perfection needed..
Just the real us, in the real family of God.
But I also believe something else – once we have that faith and that family and that longing fulfilled, we still hate staring at an incomplete picture of the family.
And that’s where we are right now..my sister, Amy, and I…longing to complete the portrait.
Longing to write our stories, to write from our lives – to let others see that if there is room in the “faith world” for our messy, crazy brand of goofy..there is room for everyone. We have faith that there is.
I eventually came into my family’s portraits and Amy became stuck with a little sister. I did all the wretched things little sisters do so brilliantly – and still she loved me.
Her story and mine became one.
Like a tapestry our lives are woven together, with threads of faith, family, love and humor.
She is often funnier than I am, bringing out the comedian in me.
She says she can be “God-ish” but plans to leave the deeper stuff to me.
I say God determines everything, including depth. I say He may surprise her with His plans for her writing.
So we are ready to start fresh, together.
A new blog-venture.
Ready to keep being authentic and real with you guys, always.
Ready to write words, share love and faith and fun.
Hoping to be sure you all know you belong..
In the picture..
With no filters needed..
Filter free, Excited and Authentically Yours,
Amy and Skye