I guess I have been a bit withdrawn lately.

Even my Facebook page for this blog sent me an email today “you’ve been quiet! People miss you!”

“Right, sure!” (Insert frowny, angry, cranky face)

But, actually, I have been.

Because among the media blasts of..

“start NEW!”
“New Year, A New Enthusiastic You!”
“Energize Your Life This Year!”
“Start Today To Be A More Youthful You!”
“Make This Your Best Year EVER!”

..I felt I had nothing jubilant enough or cheerful enough to add to the cacophony.

In fact, for me, 2015 slipped into 2016 and a stubborn hollow ache had slipped into my heart and stayed firmly in place.

Everything in 2015 wasn’t perfect and when the magical midnight hour struck, it still wasn’t.

Some illness in our family.
A strained relationship with my teen. Work/home balance struggles. Relationship and friendship issues.

There was stuff.

And no amount of confetti or “Auld Lang Syne” singing could erase it.

Then again, there were some things to celebrate about 2015.

Good beginnings and enjoyable moments that I wasn’t even ready to Auld Lang Syne away anyway! (“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means..”)

So I was feeling off.

And as the days went on – I got quieter.
And I wondered what the problem really was.

Tonight, I think I landed on it.

Maybe, for some of us, the New Year isn’t the moment we embrace the new, charge ahead, kick-start, launch, re-energize or gear up.

Maybe for some of us, the new year can simply be a quieter experience.

A time to reflect on the year we just came through. To calmly sort through what parts of the previous year we want to hold onto, and what we prefer to leave in the past.

Maybe some of us view the start of a new year as something much more peaceful. More like staring out the window at a world covered in a fresh blanket of snow – the hushed, blank canvas a beautiful tribute to peace and reflection.

Did you know that there are more than a few of us who would not stare at the pristine and unflawed surface of that snow and wonder how we could run around in it with boundless energy? Who wouldn’t plan out how to roll around in it to improve ourselves somehow or if we should mess it up by dragging our old, dying Christmas tree from last year around in it?

Some of us just want to wait.

And be quiet.

We want to think about how we want to go out there in the new fresh world and why.
To just quietly walk in the muffled world of white and pray or think.
Or maybe make a well placed snow angel.
Perhaps we want a special friend to bundle up and walk with us.
Or maybe we just want it to be ok that we have no plans to do anything .. yet. Maybe we just want to look at the blank canvas before us and dream.
Or even wait on God to tell us the plan.

For some, the New Year might be about energy, vigor, a reset, a restart and jumping with unbridled excitment.
Great – you guys should do that.

But there are some of us that just want to quietly see the old year off, as we peacefully wait on the new one to begin to flow – easy and natural.

And that’s ok too.

After all – blessed are the kick-starters for they shall inherit youthful energy and renewed enthusiasm for life (apparently) but “blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called the children of God..”

Happy New Year and Authentically Yours,
“For auld lang syne, my dear, 
For auld lang syne. 
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet, 
For auld lang syne.”

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