Every Christian has a favorite Jesus story.
The one in the bible they return to over and over to draw comfort, or strength or analogies (we Christians LOVE a good analogy, don’t we?)
Perhaps you are a “Peter walks on water” kinda gal.
Or a “Even Jesus threw some tables” kinda guy.
And I have, on occasion, spent time with the super fun “You know..Jesus turned water to wine? Therefore, wine is VERY important!” kinda folks!
Me? I like all those stories.
I am Peter – out of the boat but sinking fast.
I can be found throwing tables (sometimes) when justice or mercy or the name of Jesus are misrepresented.
And hey..who doesn’t like a good wedding party now and then? Am I right?
But for me, the overwhelmed and desperate dad bringing his son to Jesus and begging for help, is my story.
That guy? My guy. I am he..well, she.
If you don’t know the story, read it here.
It is terrifying. A tale for a horror film, but it was real life and playing out every day in this man’s life. His child is rolling around on the ground as a demon is seizing and attacking the boy from the inside out.
And the man begs Jesus for help. He brought his child to the source of help – of healing. He stands there asking and knowing he is standing a few inches from the cure. Face to face. Inches from the FACE OF GOD and he adds “If you can…”
This. Is. Me.
I can hardly express..but I so want to! I want to tell you the YEARS of impact that man’s words have had on me.
Not just those words..
but after Jesus glances up (from the child who was being thrown around in the dirt by a demon) to say ” ‘IF You can?’ ”
..then there were also these words..
“I do believe! Help me in my unbelief!”
And Jesus does. He drives out dad’s doubt and then He drives out the son’s demons. He lifts the boy up – healed, whole, made new.
Oh, the beauty of a Savior who loves us enough to realize we even need Him to help us believe He can help us!
Oh, what grace is given for the doubtful creatures we are!
Time and again I have seen God be God in my life.
Time and again I turn to Him and beg for answers, rest, reprieve, help..for miracles.
And time and again, when my heart is within inches from the very heart of God? I falter. I come to a hard stop against my own unbelief.
I was sitting here tonight thinking again how much I relate to that dad. To be waiting for, prepared for, a miracle and then come out with “I mean, if you think you can…But..maybe it’s too much, is it too much for you God?”
And I found myself thinking “good grief, I really am pathetic, huh?”
And my heart skipped a beat and thoughts poured in, and with some prayer, here is where I landed –
No. It isn’t pathetic to doubt.
It’s pathetic to walk away from your miracles because of the doubt.
Cry out instead..
Help me in my unbelief!
And watch what God will do with that moment.
Gods strength and power are made perfect in the moment we admit to our need to be fully reliant on Him for everything- even reliant on Him to help us fully believe.
But better than just “not pathetic” I think recognizing our need for His help to banish our unbelief, might just be the beginning of true faith..
Being Made “Belief-Able”, and Authentically Yours,
“Because of His kindness, you have been saved through trusting Christ. And even trusting is not of yourselves; it too is a gift from God” Ephesians 2:8 TLB