Not everything broken and torn can be repaired.
I get that. I do.
Not every person who had a role in our past, is safe enough to have a role in our future.
And that’s ok. That’s where God does amazing things to heal without reinstating.
But sometimes, with some people, we need to go back. Back to where it went wrong. Because, well, we miss them.
But that hurt…that thing that happened? It really hurt.
They hurt us!
And then it all got jumbled, and confusing and chaotic.
And he said.
And she said.
So we said.
And we did.
And soon…the fabric of a friendship, a relationship…suddenly its so tattered, so threadbare, from the pulling.
Suddenly its torn.
And sometimes we long to set it right, to fix it all.
And often, time and space, show us what we didn’t want to see in the midst of the tearing – that we sinned too…
Yes, I know they did.
But, didn’t you?
Talk a bit too much to the wrong people about it all?
Or too little to the right person.
Act in haste? Act in hurt?
And that which tore – that fabric of relationship- it was pulled from both sides wasn’t it?
Sometimes love can be like that. The ones we love the most, we pull harder for…and yet, sometimes, harder against.
So the tearing comes.
Here’s the thing though – you can go back. You can try.
You can make a mend to a relationship that is torn.
They can mend from their side, too. Fabric mends, you know?
And it actually becomes stronger where you reinforce it with the good strong thread of forgiveness, grace and love. Especially if the fabric was good in the first place.
But you have to make the choice to try to mend it.
To make amends.
When the division is wide and deep – you have to choose. Do you want to dive in, to get back to the other side?
The disciple Peter (Oh Peter, my heart so gets him sometimes!) he wanted to be Godly, to do good, to be known, to believe in his own loyalty…and to believe he was incapable of hurting others.
But he messed up. Big time.
Three times he denied his beloved friend. Betrayed Jesus. Jesus in the throes of death on a cross. Three times Peter messed up. Got it wrong. Looked into the eyes of Jesus at the end… knowing what he had done to his friend.
But their story wasn’t over. Betrayal, denial, sin, death – even that wasn’t the end of the friendship between Peter and Jesus.
But Peter had a choice to make.
And so do we.
-Stay in the boat of denial and self righteousness.
-Or gather our part of the fabric and leap in.
We have to swim..swim hard in the choppy Sea of Repentance and Contrition and towards the Shore of Grace, Repair and Mending.
**And yes, maybe the shore won’t hold what you thought it would because, let’s face it, in your human relationship – neither of you is Jesus.
And if that happens (and it may) then still act in obedience, say what you are called to say and when you turn around you will find a calmed sea and the hand of Jesus.
And you can just keep walking with Him**
But if you find, on that shore, grace and love and the other half of the mendable fabric of friendship and Jesus?
Then it was probably worth the leap off the boat and worth the swim.
From John 21 (after Peter’s betrayal of Jesus, after the death of Jesus and just after Jesus had risen from the dead)
So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.
Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore
..but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
…Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!”
As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him and jumped into the water.
On the shore..
..a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.
And Jesus said, “Come and have breakfast.
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Relationship done right.
Working on My Sewing Skills and Authentically Yours,