Some days the hard stuff just seems so..HEAVY.
Have you noticed this?
There are days that end and I find I am feeling content – with joy and hope still as fresh as the moment my day began.
But many days end with my fighting through an uncomfortable heaviness that makes it hard to sleep .. or to even breathe deeply.
As far back as I can remember, I have been labeled “sensitive”.
Reading that last sentence it strikes me that in written form, this moniker has traditionally been viewed as a very positive trait. Take the following sentence “She was a caring and kind girl, with such a sensitive heart for others”
Ahh..that’s so lovely!
Now allow me to destroy that illusion for you:
“Oh..stop..you are so sensitive!”
“Really..that bothered you? You are SO sensitive!”
“Stop worrying about it, it has nothing to do with you. Stop being so sensitive all the time!”
“Pssshhh. Don’t show that to HER – she is soo sensitive..”
See my point?
God made my heart in such a way that it feels (I mean deeply feels) ..well.. everything. If someone near me is happy, sad, scared or devastated – I am also happy, sad, scared or devastated for them. I am notoriously a sympathetic crier.
Cry within my line of vision and you will not cry alone for long.
This doesn’t stop at just people I actually know. My heart grows heavy, weighed down and achy for ..down-on-their-luck strangers in stores, homeless on the streets, the broken hearted Mama on a news press conference, the hurting, the hungry, the abused and the broken around the world.
The weight of all that “feeling” can be enormous.
Sometimes, it isn’t sadness but anger. Anger for those who suffer at the cold hands of injustice, anger for those who never had a chance to become something more, anger at the devastation humans cause each other every single day.
But that anger, grief, or plain sadness for the world around..oh, for the sensitive hearted soul, it can push your head right to the ground.
Which is actually a great place to have your head – because in my experience PRAYER is both the medicine and the CALLING of the sensitive hearted.
I am learning to have a love for my silly old sensitive heart. Learning to understand that God has made me this way so I can be used by Him to pray for the world around me.
It is both a blessing and a curse to have eyes that see, not just in color, but in the hues of grief and pain. God has allowed me to carry that pain to Him on behalf of the hurting. And when I bring it to Him, He draws near to them, because He has promised to draw near to the brokenhearted.
But in a beautiful orchestration the likes of which only God could arrange – He also draws closer to me.
As I break for the broken, His promise to draw near then also extends to include me.
As I feel the crushing weight of it all in my spirit – I bring it to Him and He draws close to those I lift in prayer, and in completion of His promise, He draws close to me.
Sensitive = brokenhearted for others = crushed in spirit for others = God draws near.
So if you, like me, have spent years stammering out a defense for your sensitive heart – stop.
Have a t-shirt made, a bumper sticker, a ribbon or a parade or something.
God is sweetly using and blessing our sensitive hearts.
And for you (you know who you are) you who own the tougher heart, you who excel for God’s kingdom in much thicker skinned arenas – stop harshing on us! Let us be sweetly and beautifully broken – it’s our thing. Our GOOD thing.
And if you suddenly feel sad about the years of poking fun at those more tender hearted than you?
Dont worry, we feel that you feel bad for it..we got your back..and we promise to lift you up to The One Who Sets All Things Back To Right.
Sensitively and Authentically Yours,
..”The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18